"Tears Soften the Soul, Clear the Mind and Open the Heart"12:22
Gone, But Never Forgotten
As of today it has been one year since my Granddad died. And to say the least I'm not coping very well. Ever since we lost him there has been a massive hole in my life, there once was an incredibility great man there, one that can never be replaced and one that I miss with my entire soul.
There is no way to even begin to explain how much I loved my Granddad. It's impossible. I have tears streaming continuously down my face as I remember as much as I can about him and our time together and to think I'll never be able to hug him again and it's devastating. I'm so scared that one day I'll start to forget things about him, I still wear his jumper to bed every single night.
He was an amazing Man, Dad, Husband, Granddad and we all miss him terribly. I know it kills every one of us that he didn't her to watch me turn 18, we know he would have been overjoyed, it was one of the milestones I really wanted him to see. There are so many other things we know he wished he could see and so many things we wish we could show, give and tell him.
I feel extremely guilty for not visiting them more often (especially as they only live a 20 minute walk away). I try to visit my Gran as much as possible, but I know it will never make up for the time I missed out on with my Granddad. The last time I saw my Granddad I could hardly say goodbye because I was crying so much and I broke down even more once I was in the hall. I knew deep down that it was going to be the last time I saw him and I couldn't make myself say 'I love you' because it hurt so much, it kills me that I didn't say it often enough and that I didn't say it then.
|Uncle Andy, GanGan (Ian), Dad (Graeme)|
I miss you every single day and I try so hard not to cry about you leaving every single day, but sometimes it's not enough and I'll cry for hours. I know you hate to see my cry, but it's the easiest way to show how much I love you and miss you! I don't think I ever really showed you how much I cared about you and I'm sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't as good as Granddaughter as I could have been. You not being here will continue to devastate me for the rest of my life, but I'm glad the pain didn't have to be drawn out and it happened quickly, but you weren't ready to leave and you shouldn't have been sick, it's not fair. I can't believe it's been a year.
Thank you for being an amazing Granddad.
I love you.
So remember, each day, live a little, laugh a little and love a little. ♥